Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
