Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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