Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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