It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize