careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
