Fuck appropriateness.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
