I didn't shave. On purpose
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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