woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
