just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
