He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
