We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
