talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
