you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
