Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
