Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.

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(320): View more from Minnesota

If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?

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(864): View more from South Carolina

he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?

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(707): View more from California

drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Say it nicely.

(1-303): View more from Colorado

Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?

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(201): View more from New Jersey

just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.

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(727): View more from Florida

You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know

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(708): View more from Illinois

I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.

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