Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
you never un-have a 4some
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
