Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
