come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Quick, to the slutcave!
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
