I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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