I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
