Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
