Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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