HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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