Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
