bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
