Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
