So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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