Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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