Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i think i have two assholes
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
