Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
