Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
FUCK WHALES
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
