Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
