she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
