lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
