Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
