My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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