I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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