I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
