Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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