I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
