Don't you send me to vm
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
