be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I need water and some morals
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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