Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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