U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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