Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
