This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
