bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
