Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize