yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Even the bartender felt bad for me
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
