you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
