I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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