doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
