I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
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